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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24060793">ZoSan!!! on Ice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheChichiSlaughterHouse/pseuds/TheChichiSlaughterHouse'>TheChichiSlaughterHouse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(between chapters), Humour, M/M, POV Alternating, Pair Figure Skating, Post-Timeskip, Scheming Nami, Technically this is a RomCom, figure skating</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:41:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,184</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24060793</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheChichiSlaughterHouse/pseuds/TheChichiSlaughterHouse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Strawhats arrive on a winter island low on funds, a single piece of paper sends Sanji's life travelling down a path he never expected. ZoroxSanji.</p><p>  <sub>(Unrated for now because I don't know how spicy I wanna go. Title is merely a reference.)</sub></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>ZoSan!!! on Ice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ZoSan!!! On Ice</p><p>By The Chichi Slaughter House</p><p>Warnings: ZoroxSanji (we’ll get there), many many attempts at humour, romcom (I guess???), post-timeskip but not specific, POV changes between chapters, TCSH bullying ZoSan out of love. Other warnings will be added per chapter, should they be necessary (they will).</p><p>Disclaimer: One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda.</p><p>Rating: PG/PG-13? (this part)</p><p>Okay, so… let’s address the first thing that might be on people’s minds: this is not, as you might suspect, a retelling of <i>Yuri!!! on Ice</i> with the characters swapped (we don’t do that here). It was inspired by one of my friends showing me ice skating videos of Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir - one of the most amazing pair skating couples to have ever graced the ice. As I was watching their performances, I couldn’t get the image of Zoro and Sanji doing it out of my head. Oops. The title for this fic is merely a reference, so don’t think too hard about it.</p><p>This is probably the most in character, non-fucky ZoSan I’ve ever written. It’s rated X at the moment not because it’s scary or evil (or for plot-spoiler reasons) but because I’m not sure if it’s gonna go sexy or not and I don’t want to rate it too low or too high just in case. I don’t want anyone to get any expectations in terms of what’s gonna happen, whether it’s excitement about smut or not. The only thing I am pretty sure of is that it’s not gonna get kinky, since that won’t suit the overall tone. Everything else is up in the air.</p><p>Just as a head’s up: updates on this aren’t going to be weekly like I usually do – it’ll be as and when I feel satisfied with each new part. I’m gonna take my time with it and let it play it out.</p><p>Anyway this is a change of pace for me so I hope you enjoy it.</p><p><a href="http://twitter.com/slaughterchichi">Twitter</a> | <a href="http://slaughterchichi.tumblr.com">Tumblr</a> | <a href="https://www.pillowfort.social/slaughterchichi">Pillowfort</a> | <a href="https://curiouscat.me/slaughterchichi">Curiouscat</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sanji held back a shiver as he glided onto the ice, the skating boots squeezing at his heels and toes. Still hearing the murmurs of the crowd as he stopped in place, waiting for the music to start. His heart was thundering in his chest, the makeup on his face making him feel clammy under the spotlight. Unsure if he was sweating from nerves or if the brightness was overheating him; the mixtures of cold from below and heat from above almost making him dizzy.</p><p>He could feel Zoro to his right, heard him slide to a halt. Wondered just how the hell he was feeling about all this but didn’t really have the time to ask. It was too late to back out now, not after they’d come this far. Too many days spent practising, too much money wasted on what they’d needed to be able to get here. All he could do was suck it up and get on with it.</p><p>Sanji steeled himself at the sound of the now-familiar music playing over the speakers. A beautiful love song that he never wanted to hear again for the rest of his life. One with the undertones of disaster to it, in a language he only half-understood. So perfect for this situation that he could have rolled his eyes, the impending feeling of doom dampening his spirit though he wasn’t going to give in to it.</p><p>These people had all come here for a show: he was going to give them one, no matter what the outcome was.</p><p>As Zoro’s hands rested on his hips, Sanji thought back to what had set this all in motion in the first place. A single piece of paper that had been handed to the wrong person at the wrong time and sent them soaring down this path at breakneck speeds. The whole thing almost funny if it hadn’t been so exhausting, everything having built up for these few minutes that felt both like they’d last forever and simultaneously be over before he knew it.</p><p>If he’d been told before they arrived here that a mere flyer was going to lead to this, Sanji would have just laughed. Called whoever said it an idiot and been on his way with a shake of his head. As if he’d ever ice skate with the goddamned Marimo bastard. You’d have had to kill him first.</p><p>Alas, the cook wasn’t dead. Was very much alive, condemned to this charade because he had no choice. If only Nami hadn't been the one handed that advertisement, then he wouldn't be in this mess.</p><p>--</p><p>None of the Strawhats had a clue what was in store for them when they stepped out onto this island. The sea had been freezing up to this point, made them put on extra layers even when they were inside the ship. Everyone had been walking around in coats and scarves, except for the swordsman who was either resilient against the cold or just too stubborn to bother. Just looking at him had made everyone else feel colder, getting frustrated that he wouldn’t at least wear one around his shoulders like he had on Punk Hazard. Not bothering to argue with him over it simply because it was a waste of time, just looking away whenever he settled for a nap on the deck.</p><p>But even Zoro had to wear a proper coat when they’d landed here; awkwardly shrugging it on without a word as the breeze had chilled them all to the bone.</p><p>Sanji wasn’t fond of cold places like this. Sure, his suits made it so he wasn’t as cold as everyone else because of the layers but it made him a bit agitated. Worrying that someone would get sick, already planning their meals in his head as he thought of things that were rich in vitamins. Hoping to prevent illness before it struck, wondering how long they’d have to stay here and put up with it before they could move on.</p><p>As they disembarked, the first thing they noticed were the residents joyfully wandering about, skiing gear strapped to so many of them that it would have been hard to miss it. The whole place felt kind of like a skiing resort, a place to go and spend a few days for fun but not somewhere people would actually live. It made sense since they’d seen how many mountains were here – of course people were going to find a way to turn that into amusement – but the whole thing felt rather odd.</p><p>Then again, this was the New World. They’d definitely come across weirder things than this by now. This was just humans being humans, really.</p><p>And, if he was honest about it, Sanji didn’t have the right to judge anyone. Their entire crew was bizarre – from talking reindeers to living skeletons to men that refused to wear pants. It was kind of like that old saying, ‘people who live in glass houses’ and all that. Not like they had any place calling anyone else weird to begin with.</p><p>As they shuffled off the ship to look around, Nami had a tight grip on the back of Luffy’s coat to prevent him running off. What they needed right now was the same as every other island they stepped on – information. That and supplies, which was going to be Sanji’s next task as soon as they had sorted out where they were going to stay. Assuming they even needed somewhere to sleep; sometimes the Log Pose didn’t even take 12 hours to readjust.</p><p>“Oh, welcome to Sukei Island!” A greeter popped up right beside them, all smiles as they waved with one hand. In the other was a stack of flyers, no doubt promoting some kind of sale or business. “Is it your first time here?”</p><p>Nami stopped in place to talk to the woman, still holding onto Luffy’s hood though it was clear he was about to wriggle out of her grip. Being polite and friendly like usual whilst still erring on the side of caution. Just because they’d been seen getting off their pirate ship, it didn’t necessarily mean that people were always cool with it when they approached them. Sometimes it was a trap to make them lower their guard. Sanji was ready to start kicking at a moment’s notice, just in case.</p><p>“Yes, it is. Do you know how long it takes for the Log Pose to set here?”</p><p>“Oh, you’d have to ask someone else. Truth is, I’m only here to give out these flyers.” The woman stuffed one into Nami’s spare hand, looking apologetic. “If it takes your fancy, you can sign up at the lodge.”</p><p>Then she was gone; pushing past them to go and talk to someone else who had just disembarked too. Sanji lowered his guard slightly, keeping his eye on her for a few moments and looking at the crowd to see if there were any signs of danger. Thankfully it all just seemed peaceful.</p><p>When he looked back at the navigator, she was looking at the piece of paper she’d been given. Thoughtfully at first but soon seeming calculating, Beli signs overtaking her eyes faster than Sanji could blink. Oh no.</p><p>“Couples skating competition? Top prize… 500,000 Beli???” Nami looked up from the flyer at the rest of the crew, her thoughts clear to every single one of them though the idea was preposterous. He couldn’t even imagine any of these idiots trying something like that, let alone being successful at it. Being graceful and well-controlled was not really in any of them, though Sanji had to admit that the idea of Robin and Nami in the costumes was appealing.</p><p>“I don’t… I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Nami-san.” Hard as it was to go against her at times like this, Sanji’s mind had drifted to the biggest obstacle of all. “It’s very dangerous – you could get hurt!”</p><p>Nami rolled her eyes and waved the paper in the air carelessly.</p><p>“It’ll be fine, Sanji-kun. We’ll get through it like we always do!”</p><p>Sanji wasn’t having it. He’d heard stories of skaters that had fumbled a jump and cut their heads open, ending up unconscious for weeks afterwards. It was far too big a risk to allow Nami or Robin to take part in, even if he himself was their partner. The thought of either of them getting injured set his blood on fire.</p><p>“No!” He snatched the flyer from her hands and threw it behind his shoulder before she could take it back. “We’ll find something else if you want money, so—”</p><p>“Oi.” Zoro growled from behind him as Sanji heard the paper being crumpled up. Great. He’d thrown it in that idiot’s face, would now have to argue with him over that instead of talking Nami out of this like he was trying to do. “The fuck you throwing your shit in my face for?”</p><p>Sanji turned around on the spot, grabbing at Zoro’s coat in agitation. Trust him to not sense the problem at hand and let it slide for once. Had he even been paying attention before or was he too dense to realise what was going on here? Either way the provocation made Sanji frustrated, wanting to kick his face in but unable to in case Nami ran off and entered them whilst he was distracted.</p><p>Zoro grabbed the collar of Sanji’s shirt in response, glaring at him with all he had. Not saying anything else since Sanji hadn’t replied to him yet; waiting his turn as if that was something they did, like this was normal. Sanji had never thought of it like that before but it struck him quite strongly in this moment.</p><p>“…If you have a problem with it, how about you do it?” Nami sounded pensive all of a sudden, cropping up right next to them and looking between their faces. “You and Zoro.”</p><p>“…What?!” Sanji stared at her in shock, his hand slipping limply from Zoro’s coat. The absurd situation had just gotten even worse – why would it come to that??</p><p>Nami lifted her hand to her chin as they both looked at her, Sanji practically able to see the cogs turning in her head as she thought this over. Zoro seemed to have no clue what she was even talking about – typical idiot – but even he was taking offense at that suggestion. Just the concept of working together on something was enough to make the swordsman grumpy, always sneering in some way though it wasn’t like Sanji enjoyed having to co-operate with him either. In battle it was fine, done out of instinct and need, but any other time they couldn’t stand it.</p><p>As if this was going to go well!!</p><p>“You’re really flexible and elegant, Sanji-kun. You’d be an amazing skater.” Nami had adopted that tone of voice she used when she wanted something from him. Lavishing him with compliments, buttering him up to get what she wanted. He knew that but it never failed to tickle his ego, always made him flush with pride at her words. Sanji puffed his chest out despite himself.</p><p>“Well yeah, but—”</p><p>“And Zoro’s really strong, so lifting you won’t be an issue at all.”</p><p>An attempt at appeasing the swordsman, though it probably wouldn’t work. Zoro hated shit like this, fought against doing anything that wasn’t training or sleeping. No way was he going to—</p><p>“Of course not.” Zoro let go of Sanji and crossed his arms over his chest in distaste. “I wouldn’t even notice if I picked up this beanpole.”</p><p>Sanji shot an angry glance at the swordsman at the words, feeling messed with. He wasn’t a goddamned beanpole – he was toned! Didn’t need all those stupid muscles that Zoro seemed so proud of, flaunting his chest everywhere and at every opportunity. Probably just too stupid to know how to wear clothes to begin with, his brain so full of fighting that there wasn’t room for anything else to fit in there.</p><p>“Then it’s settled!” Nami slapped her hands together gleefully as she snatched the crumpled flyer from Zoro’s other hand. “I’ll go enter you right now.”</p><p>Zoro growled as he grabbed Nami’s shoulder, stopping her in her tracks.</p><p>“Like hell you will! I didn’t agree to anything.”</p><p>Nami sighed and relaxed her shoulders before slowly turning her head towards him. Sanji recognised that expression, knew right there and then that she wasn’t going to back down from this. No matter how Zoro felt, she had an ace up her sleeve that always managed to get him to do what she wanted. Able to manipulate them both without any effort at all.</p><p>“If you win, I’ll not only take some of it out of the debt that you owe me,” Nami was speaking slowly, her tone low and almost menacing despite this obviously being a lure. Using both the stick and the carrot to get the swordsman where she wanted him. “But I’ll buy you a whole bunch of premium sake.”</p><p>Zoro’s grip had faltered at the mention of his debt, his face twisting uncomfortably at the reminder, but now it was overtaken by excitement. He let go of her in seconds, tempted by booze like the goddamn lush that he was. Fucking stupid alcoholic.</p><p>“Well, if you put it like that…”</p><p>Sanji groaned and smacked himself in the face as Nami immediately rushed off. Not sparing another second before disappearing into the crowd, not giving him time to recover and stick to his guns like he’d been planning. Even if he chased after her now it was going to be useless; he’d fucked up by letting her praise get the better of him.</p><p>Zoro stroked at his chin with a grin on his face, no doubt thinking about sake and nothing else. Probably not even aware of what he’d just agreed to them doing, what kind of grave he’d just dug. Sanji looked at him dejectedly, lighting a cigarette and putting it between his lips.</p><p>“You realise she’s making us ice skate for money, right?” Sanji spoke slowly, taking his time so that the words would sink in. Deciding to make the situation clear to him, since he was certain that the swordsman had no clue what he’d just done. “We have to dance on ice in front of people.”</p><p>The pleased look on Zoro’s face completely melted away, replaced with wide eyes and agitation.</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>Sanji grit his teeth, biting through the end of his cig and scowling as he felt bits of tobacco fall into his mouth. Of fucking course.</p><p>“Why do you never listen…”</p><p>The best they could expect from this was honestly being laughed at.</p><p>--</p><p>When Nami returned from signing them up, she was all smiles. Sanji wasn’t sure how to feel about that given the circumstances but tried to match her enthusiasm anyway, smiling back at her despite his unease. Having to keep everyone relatively close together while she’d been gone had been a pain; especially when it came to the Captain and swordsman, who both wanted to wander off in separate directions.</p><p>Luffy was distracted by every single passer-by he saw, his eyes sparkling at all of their cool equipment as he asked them about it and seemed to get into his head that he should definitely be trying to ski. Zoro, as expected, was trying to find his way to a bar though the idiot didn’t have his own money and would just end up emptying the wallet of whoever found him. It had been difficult keeping hold of Luffy and stopping Zoro at the same time, but when Usopp and Chopper had started playing in the snow Sanji hadn’t had to worry about Luffy as much.</p><p>Sanji had been thankful that Robin and Franky had decided to stick near the ship until Nami got back, casually blocking Zoro’s path whenever he tried to go somewhere else. Whether on purpose or by accident was fine, though Sanji was sure he’d heard Robin chuckle to herself at one point when Zoro had walked into Franky’s back. Too busy looking over his shoulder yelling at Sanji to realise someone else was there, looking flustered and annoyed straight after.</p><p>The problem with letting Zoro go hadn’t just been the ridiculous bar tab he’d have accrued – knowing the swordsman, he’d end up on the top of the highest mountain trying to go north or something. Requiring nothing short of a full-scale rescue team to find him, probably wasting days of being here whilst they searched. </p><p>Normally this wouldn’t be a problem but with Nami signing them up for this thing, Sanji didn’t want to risk it. He hadn’t had time to look at the flyer himself but chances were there was an extremely limited window where they could practise for it and even though he didn’t want to, letting Zoro get lost would just make this whole thing harder. He had extremely low hopes to begin with but they’d definitely need all the practise they could get – he doubted Zoro was going to be able to do any of it anyway.</p><p>Personally, Sanji would have rather let the bastard go but didn’t want to see Nami’s look of annoyance and disappointment when she came back to find him missing. Also didn’t fancy having to traipse around looking for him here, especially not when it was this damn cold.</p><p>“I got us some good rooms whilst I was there,” Nami beamed, swirling a set of keys around her index finger. Wearing a look that said she’d probably haggled the poor receptionist into a loss rather than a profit. “But Franky, Usopp, you’re gonna have to talk to them when we get there. They need some repairs doing.”</p><p>Ah. So that was it; she’d gotten them a good deal in return for free repairs to the building. Not bad, very much like her. Using everything to her advantage to save them some cash.</p><p>“Leave it to me!” Franky said proudly, jabbing his thumb to his chest. “I’ll make sure everything is suuuuper sturdy!”</p><p>Usopp looked up from the snow angels he’d been making with Luffy and Chopper with a disgruntled expression. Clearly displeased to be used for labour but not daring to say anything about it, just getting up off the floor and shaking his head. Resigned to his fate, shrugging it off because he was more than used to this by now. Though it was perhaps rude to say, you didn’t travel with Nami for this long without being on the end of one of her money-based antics at one point or another. At least this time it wasn’t just him – they’d barely been here 20 minutes and already four of them were swept up into a scheme.</p><p>Then again, this was one of the things that Sanji loved about Nami. Her resourcefulness when it came to money was only ever a boon, even if sometimes it ended up in something unpleasant or ridiculous. With the amount of treasure they had and the ways in which it got spent, Sanji was certain that without her they wouldn’t have gotten this far. Every time they seemed to come across money it went straight to Luffy’s stomach or the Captain ended up giving it away. Sanji knew Nami still hadn’t forgiven Luffy for giving away all their treasure to Big Mom, though she’d recognised the need for it at the time.</p><p>Nami pointed at him and Zoro.</p><p>“You two, come with me. We have a lot of things to do.”</p><p>He heard Zoro click his tongue in annoyance but to his surprise the swordsman just shrugged and followed after her. Not bothering to argue though he’d certainly been complaining to Sanji this whole time, probably still swayed by the promise of alcohol. If only it were that easy to keep him under control all of the time – maybe they wouldn’t struggle so much.</p><p>They spent the rest of that day looking in shops for the equipment they needed; skating boots, towels, workout clothes – anything Nami could think of. Forced to try things on over and over again, which Sanji didn’t mind so much but it was obvious to anyone that it was pissing Zoro off.</p><p>Disgruntled noises every time he was handed something, rolling his eye when asked for his opinion. Every answer curt and uncaring, about as interested as Sanji had thought he’d be. While Zoro was being grumpy, Nami was beginning to lose her temper with him as well; pissed off that the swordsman wasn’t making an effort to be part of this even though all he was doing was agreeing with her. Sanji had always assumed women would like that kind of response from men – being agreeable, not fussing – but at seeing her reaction he realised he was wrong. Shopping with a woman was more complicated than he’d thought, but part of him was pleased that she did actually want opinions when she asked for them.</p><p>That said, maybe it wasn’t so simple: he had been agreeing with everything she said too, but Nami didn’t seem mad at him. Perhaps it was just Zoro’s attitude then; at least Sanji wasn’t being a pain in the ass about it. Not complaining no matter what she asked him to do, exiting the stalls and giving her a spin so she could see what it looked like. Moving around whilst it was on, stretching to see how it fit when he was in all sorts of positions. Not for the ice skating per se as this was normal for him – what was the point in buying clothes that he couldn’t manoeuvre around in?</p><p>Unlike usual, Sanji opted for a very basic set of clothes to practice skating in: a short-sleeved shirt with a high neck and form-fitting trousers that he could kick over his own head in without tearing. Everything black, of course, along with a pair of gloves that stopped just before his wrists. Considering the possibility of hurting his hands whilst he practised, waiting for the inevitable time he’d miss a landing or get dropped and have to catch his balance with them. Not so much to prevent injury as much as protect his skin from the ice itself, since he was used to using them at short notice when he needed to.</p><p>Choosing his own outfit had been a breeze; everything here was easily in his size and he already knew what he’d prefer to wear anyway. Zoro, on the other hand, was a bit too wide in the chest for some of the clothes and whilst he didn’t verbally say anything, his hatred for some of it was clear on his face when he stepped out in it. Though now wasn’t the time, Sanji found himself grabbing the ugliest things he could find and slipping them through the changing room curtain.</p><p>It had taken all of his willpower not to laugh when Zoro had come out in a shirt with a pattern that looked like someone had been trying to vomit in the shape of flowers. Too small to begin with, barely covering his chest let alone reaching his stomach, straining over him like it was about to explode if he did so much as breathe in.</p><p>Nami had snapped at Zoro for messing around, which had prompted him to start yelling that he hadn’t chosen it – ending up with both Zoro and Sanji getting whacked around the head. The bump stung but not as much as Nami’s angry glare at him for drawing this out further, causing Sanji to bow his head in apology and stop trying to interfere.</p><p>The trip had ended up with them both getting similar attire – something Sanji wasn’t best pleased by – and with the cook wondering how Nami was going to pay for this. Unlike with the hotel, it wasn’t like she could offer them repairs in lieu of payment.</p><p>He needn’t have been concerned though. In typical Nami fashion, she went for the male cashiers and flirted with them as they rung up the purchases. Flicking her hair over her shoulder, smiling in that beautiful way she always did, implying that there was something else they could get from her besides money. Sanji did not like that, but it was effective on pretty much all of them; the poor bastards looking at her with hearts in their eyes when her voice lowered into a purr.</p><p>The only time this strategy failed was when they went to buy boots. The cheapest shop only had an old lady at the counter, no male cashiers in sight. Sanji had thought this would be his time to shine, to show Nami how useful he could be in situations like this but the old dear seemed far too distracted looking at Zoro to pay him much attention. Ugh. He didn’t like to try and judge women’s tastes but the fact that she seemed enamoured with the bloody swordsman instead of with him made Sanji frustrated. Not just because the idea of getting Zoro to flirt with anyone seemed impossible but because it hurt his pride a little.</p><p>Nami had been quick to notice the older woman’s stare, grabbing Zoro by the elbow and whispering in his ear. Zoro had rolled his eye and declined but after a sharp elbow to the ribs he’d gone over anyway. Leaning slightly across the counter, trying to feign any kind of interest before essentially giving up and reaching over to grab her. Sanji had been prepared to kick his ass for daring to hurt an old lady but had paused when he noticed that all he was doing was holding her in his arms. From over Zoro’s shoulder he could see the absolute joy on her face, ignoring the bitterness rising in his throat as she suddenly offered them a half-price discount.</p><p>When they left the store with bags in hand, Sanji had scoffed about Zoro using his body and almost ended up in a fight with him over it before Nami had cast a glare at both of them. From there they’d gone back to the hotel to drop things off, Sanji more than relieved to find he was sharing a room with Usopp for the duration of this endeavour. They’d not been here more than a few hours but he was already feeling exhausted, already sick of the sight of Zoro, tired of putting up with his shit.</p><p>It was a shame he hadn’t had the luck of getting to share a room with one of the ladies but literally anyone would have been fine at this point, so long as their hair wasn’t green.</p><p>--</p><p>The next day, Sanji’s routine was thrown into disarray. </p><p>From the moment Nami woke up he was dragged to the rink with Zoro in tow, ignoring the grumbling asshole as much as he possibly could. Being on the ice itself wasn’t too bad; he’d quickly figured out how to remain upright and had been skating around within an hour at most. He still struggled a little bit when it came to stopping in place but miles better than the swordsman, who was unable to stand up straight without his knees shaking.</p><p>The sight reminded him a lot of a baby deer trying to stand up for the first time, though there was absolutely nothing cute about it. The scowl on Zoro’s face and the annoyance in his eyes made him give off a menacing aura, enough to stop the other skaters in their tracks when they caught sight of him and scare them off. Not him though; Sanji was enjoying Zoro’s suffering, finding it hilarious that he was so bad at this. Not flinching even when he caught the venom in the swordsman’s gaze as he skated past him, knowing on some level it was from jealousy. Laughing each time Zoro slipped and fell on his ass, not bothering to hide it one bit. Ha, that’s what he got for being a musclehead idiot.</p><p>Of course, all the fun was sucked out of it when Sanji remembered he was supposed to be skating with the bastard and not against him – the ineptitude was going to cost them dearly if he didn’t at least try to help him out. It wasn’t like Zoro was listening to Nami’s instructions at all – he needed a clearer motivator than he’d been given. Perhaps the lure of booze was already wearing off.</p><p>Other people had fallen onto the ice whilst they were there, crying and taking breaks to soothe themselves afterwards. To his merit, Zoro hadn’t done so much as complain – just getting back onto his feet as quickly as possible and continuing to try even though it was obvious he hated it. Probably his pride getting the better of him; refusing to allow him to make a fuss over it or give up, though Sanji was sure that Nami would have let him get off the ice if he’d said he was in pain. This stubbornness was the only good thing about him at this point and Sanji had decided to use that to his advantage.</p><p>The way that Sanji got Zoro to do better was simple: tease and taunt him from a small distance, slide away whenever he managed to get closer. Instead of berating him for winding the swordsman up, Nami just watched from the rink side; probably figuring out his intentions and allowing it since it was actually getting them somewhere. Zoro was still shaky on his feet but by late afternoon he was managing to get across the rink without falling over every two minutes. Sanji had almost been tackled a few times but had narrowly avoided it by swerving off in a random direction at the very last second. He was sure he was going to pay for it later though.</p><p>Surprisingly Zoro didn’t seek revenge as soon as Nami let them get off of the ice. Sanji had expected Zoro to grab him and start yelling in his face when they went back into the changing rooms but the swordsman had been oddly quiet. Just shrugging off the clothes and pulling out his normal attire, Sanji eyeing the bruises covering his back and arms as he shrugged his samurai coat back over his shoulders. There were more of them than he’d anticipated but then again, Zoro had fallen over a lot. In ways that had made everyone around him wince, with loud thuds that made it sound a lot worse than it was.</p><p>Zoro had caught him looking but not even bothered to comment on it, just bundling his stuff into a bag and exiting the changing room in silence. Either he was feeling sorry for himself or just didn’t have the energy to pick a fight anymore, and though Sanji was tired too he couldn’t really appreciate it all that much. Not being bickered with was just weird; unsettling him despite the fact that he should have been able to view it as a good thing.</p><p>Over dinner, Nami kept trying to explain various skating moves to the pair of them. A difficult task because they were spread out over a few tables in a busy dining hall, surrounded by loud chatter. It would have made more sense to do it when they were still on the rink but their hands had been full just trying to get Zoro able to move around. Sanji was doing his best to catch what she was saying but he could tell Zoro wasn’t even listening, distracted by Luffy trying to sneak his food off his plate.</p><p>To be fair, Sanji didn’t blame him for that but felt like the entire thing was being rested firmly on his shoulders – it was up to him to somehow make this work, to fulfil the goal that Nami had set out for them. The pressure was getting to him already, mostly because he felt like he was doing it alone. That wouldn’t have been so bad if it were true but on top of figuring out how to skate and performing a routine he felt like he was stuck babysitting at the same time. It didn’t matter how diligent and good he was if Zoro was still shit at it: they were being assessed as a team and would only be as strong as their weakest link.</p><p>If only there was some way to actually get Zoro to care about all of this, to make him want to actually put the effort in. He doubted the swordsman was as inept as he was acting, had seen basically every day the lengths he went to in building up his body – there was no way he should be struggling this much, not if he put his damn mind to it.</p><p>The problem was, Nami had already offered Zoro the only things Sanji could think of and trying to bribe him further with alcohol seemed pointless. The cook thought long and hard about what else he could do until it was time for bed, climbing under the sheets and only half-listening whilst Usopp told him what he’d been up to that day. Though he was interested in hearing about it, Sanji found himself falling asleep pretty quickly; his aching body luring him into unconsciousness shortly after his head had hit the pillow.</p><p>--</p><p>Unfortunately for Sanji, he didn’t manage to sleep all that well: waking up a few times in the night from cramps in his muscles, hissing through his teeth as he massaged at his flesh to soothe them away. By the time morning came he felt like he’d barely slept at all, his body oddly sluggish when he climbed out of bed. It was kind of like when he’d been horribly injured in battle, though instead of sharp stabbing pains they were dulled and went deeper into his body. At least Usopp was there to talk to; giving him a rundown of what he and the younger Strawhats had done yesterday, not seeming upset at all that he’d fallen asleep mid-way through.</p><p>When Nami came to get him, Sanji was tempted to tell her he couldn’t do it today. Not just because of his aches but because he didn’t fancy hearing Zoro’s complaints at the same time. One look at her determined expression and he gave up on that idea; unable to let her down when she was like this. To some degree he doubted she’d have let him take the day off anyway, not when he knew that it would have meant leaving Zoro to his own devices.</p><p>Who knew where the bastard would end up without constant babysitting; for better or worse Sanji was going to be stuck with him every day. At least it was only in daylight hours, when the rink was open or they were eating together – the cook wasn’t entirely sure he’d have been able to cope with more than that.</p><p>Sanji followed her dutifully as they swung by Zoro’s room to pick him up, watching from the side as Nami hammered her fist on the door. It was so loud it hurt his ears but at least they wouldn’t be ignored. Chopper was the one who answered, looking at them in apology as he waved his hoof over to Zoro still in bed. Sanji would have gone over to kick him out of it but Nami didn’t give him the chance, stomping over and yanking the duvet off of him to find him practically naked under it.</p><p>“Zoro, get up!” Nami didn’t even bat an eyelid at his nudity, though Sanji was on the edge of yelling at him for it, turning his face away as fast as he could. He didn’t sleep like that in the men’s quarters – at least not as far as Sanji could tell. Often sleeping without his coat on but usually still in his trousers or at the very minimum covered up in a way that didn’t show anything if he didn’t.</p><p>There was a loud yawn and grumbling as he heard Zoro get out of bed, the swordsman not seeming to care about his state as he ignored them and walked straight into the bathroom. Though he was trying not to look, Sanji couldn’t help but notice that he was only wearing his haramaki; the blackened bruises dotted over his skin focused around his hips and thighs. A particularly large one on his ass almost made Sanji gasp as he spotted it, wincing as the door closed behind him.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Chopper mumbled, seeming embarrassed by all of this himself. “I tried to wake him but he wouldn’t budge.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Nami sighed, waving her hand through the air. Completely unfazed by the whole thing; as if she was used to it, like she was the one who had to bathe with him all the time. “It’s about what I expected.”</p><p>Sanji found his hand slipping into his breast pocket for his cigarettes out of habit, stopping at the look he got from Chopper from putting one between his lips. Shit, he’d forgotten he wasn’t allowed to do this in here. Awkwardly he pulled it back out and slipped it behind his ear, muttering under his breath.</p><p>“Fucking bastard.”</p><p>Nami turned to him at that, her eyebrow raised in mild amusement. Taking a few seconds to survey him before shrugging her shoulders.</p><p>“You can go out for a smoke if you like, Sanji-kun.” There was something in her tone that he couldn’t quite read, a hint of a smirk on her lips that he wasn’t sure how to feel about. “We’ll meet you when he’s dressed.”</p><p>Part of Sanji wanted to refuse the offer – not wanting to leave her in this room with the dense asshole while all his ‘glory’ was on display – but another larger part of him was itching to get the hell out of there. Not wanting an encore of what he’d just seen, aware of the fact that the swordsman hadn’t taken his clothes in there with him. If he stayed he was undoubtedly going to get another eyeful; something that right now he was sure he couldn’t take for one reason or another. Besides, if he didn’t go now it was going to be hours before the next opportunity: better to take it than risk losing his patience with Zoro on the ice.</p><p>“Alright,” Sanji nodded his head in resignation, making his way to the door but glancing over his shoulder as he opened it. “Just call me if you need my help; I’ll be up here in a flash!”</p><p>“I will.” Nami gestured at the door for him to leave, looking like she wanted to say something but couldn’t because he was there. Odd.</p><p>With a sigh Sanji exited the door and stalked his way out of the hotel. Trying not to think too hard about what that meant, lighting his cigarette as soon as he got outside and leaning against the wall outside roughly where he thought the window to Zoro’s room was. All she’d have to do was open the window and he’d be there; using Sky Walk to jump in through the window and boot the asshole in his face if it was necessary.</p><p>He took a deep inhale of the smoke, tapping his foot impatiently. Well, he said he’d kick him but he knew he wasn’t allowed to; Nami had expressly forbidden it for a reason. Probably not wanting the pair of them covered in bruises for their performance, though with the way Zoro was going Sanji didn’t need to kick him for that. He was very clearly already covered in the damn things; his back and hips reminding the cook of the way fat clung to walls when it spat out of a frying pan.</p><p>In a lot of ways, that description fit the swordsman perfectly; smelly, messy, unable to be controlled no matter what precautions you put in place to prevent it. Causing havoc that had to be cleaned up at the end, though Sanji wasn’t so sure this time that he’d be able to make something amazing in the process. His initial instinct on this entire venture seemed to be correct so far – it was laughable to believe they could actually do this, to think they’d be able to win let alone manage to perform something in the first place. He didn’t know why Nami seemed so determined that it would work out; the lure of the prize money must have blinded her to reality.</p><p>Sanji allowed himself the time to wallow in despair as he smoked, let the sighs and frustration escape him with each exhale. It was as he was stubbing it out that the hotel’s main door opened, Nami and Zoro appearing outside just as he was contemplating going back in to see what was taking them so long. There was a large black bag slung over the swordsman’s shoulder that Sanji didn’t recognise.</p><p>Now dressed, Zoro seemed as grumpy as ever, casting a lingering look in his direction before clicking his tongue in distaste. Whether at the sight of him or the knowledge he’d been smoking, Sanji didn’t know and frankly didn’t care – that feeling, at least, was mutual.</p><p>“C’mon,” Nami beckoned. “We don’t have all day.”</p><p>Sanji pushed himself away from the wall and followed after her as she lead them to the rink again. A sinking feeling in the pits of his stomach as they approached the building, an unrest caused by the knowledge that he wasn’t going to have a good time when they got in there. They hadn’t even had breakfast yet; a choice he would have questioned if he didn’t know why. Nami preferred to make sure they all ate together even if Sanji wasn’t the one cooking, and some of the others wouldn’t be awake for hours yet. Her logic was probably that they’d practice until the late risers got up and then go for food as a group; not the most sensible plan since it meant they had to skate on empty stomachs to that point.</p><p>When they got inside, she tossed them both protein bars and pointed at the changing rooms.</p><p>“I have something special for you today, so be quick!”</p><p>Though he was grateful for the slight sustenance, Sanji couldn’t bring himself to be happy about it; the discomfort in his body seeming to double. Something special, huh? Why did it seem so ominous?</p><p>Still, who was he to refuse a lady’s request? Sanji hurriedly ate the bar on the way into the changing rooms, agitated by how bland it tasted and the uncomfortable texture of it in his mouth. If given half a chance, he could easily have whipped up something better but there was no time to complain about it now. As he stripped off and pulled his training clothes on, Sanji didn’t so much as glance in Zoro’s direction. Not needing or wanting another glimpse of his skin, still feeling restless from what he’d seen earlier.</p><p>They weren’t even given time to warm up when they’d gotten dressed, practically assaulted by Nami the second they left the changing rooms again. Zoro had brought that weird bag with him but Nami tugged it out of his arms without hesitation and put it down on the floor in one smooth motion. Sanji heard the displeased grunt that left the swordsman’s lips but opted not to say anything, distracted by Nami’s enthusiasm so early in the morning.</p><p>“We’ve figured out what your routine is going to be.” Nami announced, clapping her hands together in triumph. Looking pleased with herself for getting one of the tough parts out of the way, excitedly ushering them onto the rink so she could explain what she wanted them to do.</p><p>Sanji just stood and listened as she walked them through the routine, watching her arms as she made gestures of the poses she was looking for. As he’d expected, there were many parts where they were supposed to be holding onto each other, some tough-sounding jumps and lifts that he wasn’t too sure they could pull off. Maybe if he’d been alone it wouldn’t have been so bad; he knew by now the difference between a triple axel and a toe loop, knew he was kind of capable of both though he had far more confidence in step sequences. Landing his jumps perfectly was still a bit of a hassle, mostly because he wasn’t quite used to the continued momentum afterwards.</p><p>By comparison, Zoro couldn’t land a jump to save his life. Ending up collapsing to the ground even when he vaguely managed to pull of the rest of it off. His centre of gravity seeming far worse than Sanji’s, though with the amount of meditation he did he should have been able to figure it out. It was far too early for him to be trying to remember an entire routine, let alone practise it but they simply didn’t have the time to wait for him to improve on that.</p><p>When she’d finished explaining the routine to them, Nami sighed and rested her chin in her hand. Looking uncomfortable as she glanced at Zoro, the mosshead likely not having taken a single thing in. Sanji knew there was more to this than just the physical actions they needed to do: ice skating wasn’t just about technique, required drama and flair as well. Which meant playing a part at the same time, evoking an emotional response from anyone watching. The cook felt dread at Nami’s hesitation, knowing she was thinking of a way to communicate this so that Zoro could understand it. Though he didn’t want to, Sanji could already sort-of figure out what the idea was; a weight in his chest at having to do such a thing with this asshole, of all people.</p><p>A moment later, Nami seemed to steel her resolve, straightening up.</p><p>“Okay, so the story of this is—”</p><p>“There’s a <i>story</i>??” Zoro interrupted, looking more confused than when Sanji had attempted to explain to him the different kinds of jumps. Even more clueless about this than he’d anticipated, almost making the cook smack his hand to his face in resignation.</p><p>“—that Sanji-kun is a high-class woman who is difficult to seduce.” Nami continued, ignoring Zoro outright. As she should. “You’re supposed to be trying to convince him to fall for you whilst he pushes you away. He teases you with flirtations but isn’t actually interested. By the end, he accepts your advances and you two finally get together.”</p><p>Sanji tried not to get annoyed by that storyline. That was the whole point of this kind of performance – telling a story through movements. It made sense that it’d end up being something like this, given the type of competition it was and the people participating in it, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. Resisting Zoro’s ‘advances’ was fine, but the part about flirting anyway and actually giving in to it seemed ridiculous. As if.</p><p>“So you’re saying he’s a bitch. No different from usual then.” Zoro laughed, clearly enjoying the chance to make fun of him though it was obvious he still didn’t get it.</p><p>“Who the hell is a bitch?!” Sanji snapped, grabbing at Zoro’s shirt. He could feel his leg itching to fling itself at the bastard’s smug face but refrained only because he’d been told not to. “Can’t wait to see your performance as someone in ‘love’ – I bet you don’t even know what that feeling is!”</p><p>His insult fell on deaf ears as Zoro looked at him blankly. Of course the marimo wasn’t going to know what that was. He never seemed to pay attention to anything other than booze or fights; ignoring even the most beautiful women as they passed him by. Probably had no concept of the emotion at all, wouldn’t know it even if it smacked him in the face. Chances were that if it did he’d be too busy thinking about battling it to pay it any attention. Idiot.</p><p>“Just treat Sanji like he’s one of your swords or something, I don’t know.” Nami was exasperated, already seeming done with this though it had barely been a few days. Sanji wondered if she was regretting her decision yet. He knew he sure was.</p><p>“What, carry him on my waist?” Zoro snorted, missing the point and waving his arm in annoyance. “Or leave him at the edge of the rink like you forced me?”</p><p>Ah, so that’s what had been in the bag. That certainly explained its weird shape.</p><p>“You know what I mean!” Nami groaned, waving off his jab at her about the swords. They needed to not be in the way, weren’t really allowed in public to begin with. He was lucky she’d let him bring them in here, even if they weren’t readily available to him and were covered up from prying eyes. The last thing they needed was hysteria about weapons lying around – if anything, she was being considerate by not making him leave them in his hotel room.</p><p>Zoro still looked clueless but Sanji understood what she’d meant. Had seen how much Zoro cared for his swords, how often he took them out for cleaning or maintenance. If the cook really thought about it, perhaps they were the only thing he could think of that Zoro loved – barring sake, of course. He was grateful she’d picked swords as her comparison; he didn’t really fancy the idea of Zoro bringing him to his lips and swallowing him down. Didn’t really like the idea of being treated like an inanimate object either, but from the options laid out before him it was the lesser of the two evils.</p><p>Sanji just rolled his eyes as Nami put the music on, begrudgingly standing next to Zoro as she clapped her hands and told them to get on with it. Doing his best to act flirty and amused like she’d said, ignoring Zoro’s snort though all he wanted to do was kick him in the head.</p><p>As he’d expected right from the start, this was hopeless. The parts where they were touching each other weren’t too terrible – though Zoro had a bad habit of grabbing him too hard – but the second they let go it was like the swordsman disappeared. No longer where he should have been, making Sanji have to twist around and search him out. His disgruntled attitude just making it more difficult for Sanji to keep up his charade, the cook’s lips twisting into scowls every time Zoro touched him.</p><p>So much for ‘falling for’ this asshole. Over time it was just getting worse!</p><p>They’d barely gotten any better by mid-afternoon, after two breaks for breakfast and lunch where Sanji had smoked far more than usual. Avoiding being anywhere near Zoro whilst they ate, frustrated with him for being such a Neanderthal. Grabbing at him roughly, practically chucking him out of his arms when he was supposed to just calmly let go. He felt like he’d needed the cigarettes more than ever, groaning to himself when he realised just how fast he was burning through this pack. Did they even sell them here? He didn’t even have time to look around and find out.</p><p>After what felt like the millionth failed attempt, Nami lost her temper and called them back over. Sanji’s hips and waist were aching from Zoro’s unnecessary amount of force, the cook trying not to rub at them and show how it was affecting him. He’d either blow up at him for it later or get used to it, but now wasn’t the time to bring it up.</p><p>“This is supposed to be a sexy dance,” Nami groaned, waving her hand between the two of them in annoyance. “Can’t you at least <i>pretend</i> to be into each other?”</p><p>Sanji frowned at her tone. It sounded an awful lot like she didn’t think it would be an act. As if he’d ever be attracted to this dumb marimo with no sense of direction and two left feet. Absolutely impossible. He was regretting his insistence that this would be too dangerous for the women – said because he was hoping it would dissuade her from entering anyone at all – knowing deep down that nothing got between Nami and money. Of course she’d end up making him do it with someone else! He should have just let it happen – at least then he’d probably be skating with her or Robin.</p><p>Zoro huffed to the side of him, likely sharing his thoughts on the matter. Annoying because he had his moments of being in sync with him yet somehow couldn’t bring that out on the ice. This whole thing was a disaster.</p><p>“I’m doing my best, Nami-san.” Sanji’s tone was icy as he glanced over at Zoro. “But think of what I have to work with. You’re asking for the impossible.”</p><p>Zoro looked back at him in annoyance, his hands twitching at his sides like he wanted to punch him in the head or grab his swords. Unable to do either, since Nami had made him leave them by the rink side and had been firm about them not hurting each other. Lording the promise of booze over Zoro’s head just as much as reducing his debts, threatening to double the latter if he made this difficult for her. Playing him oddly like a fiddle.</p><p>“You got that right, shit-cook.” Zoro scoffed, before gesturing at him roughly with a thumb. “Even pretending to like this noisy bastard is too much for me.”</p><p>Sanji felt his eye twitch.</p><p>“At least I can fuckin’ skate!” He bit back, jabbing Zoro in the chest with a finger. “You keep falling over and going in the wrong goddamn direction! Do you not even know your left from your right??”</p><p>Zoro’s face flushed bright red.</p><p>“Fuck off! You’re the one who’s going in the wrong direction!” Always blaming others for his own mistakes when it came to stuff like that, acting as if everyone else was wrong when he ended up somewhere else completely. Sanji didn’t know if it was dumb luck that had the swordsman where he should be at the right time but it made it harder for Zoro to accept his own deficiency. He wouldn’t have been too surprised if the bastard’s terrible sense of direction one day ended him up on Laughtale by freak accident. At least then it’d be useful. “I’m supposed to lead, so you should follow me!”</p><p>Sanji would have kept yelling if he hadn’t been so taken aback by Zoro’s audacity. How the hell was he supposed to follow his lead when it changed with every attempt?? And that was without the dumbass forgetting the choreography that Nami had somehow come up with overnight – helped by Robin, no doubt – while going off on his own stupid patterns. Sanji was really putting in the effort here, had managed to memorise what they needed to do even though he didn’t want to. Why couldn’t Zoro put in the same damn effort??</p><p>“You can judge Sanji-kun when you actually remember what you’re doing.” Nami scowled, throwing the towel from over her shoulder at Zoro’s face. Unfortunately he caught it effortlessly, taking away any option for Sanji to enjoy it. “Take another break and come back when you can get your head in the game.”</p><p>Nami walked off in agitation, muttering under her breath and leaving them standing on the ice uncomfortably. Both angry and frustrated, neither seeing how the hell they could possibly make this work.</p><p>They shared a brief glance before Sanji huffed and skated into the middle of the rink by himself. Enjoying the way the cold air whipped at his skin, how fluid skating felt now that he was on his own. Part of him was wondering if he should invest in heeled shoes, whether that would be useful in battle or not. It’d certainly make getting around easier but he’d end up breaking them by kicking someone in the face.</p><p>A pointless consideration now that he’d thought it through, but an entertaining one at least. It’d go better than this whole ‘ice skating’ debacle anyway – though it was hard to think of anything that wouldn’t be better than this. He could probably roll around in butter before a fight and do a better job of it than Zoro trying to skate.</p><p>When Sanji turned his head back to where the swordsman had been standing, he noticed that he was gone. His swords missing from the edge of the rink as well, Zoro obviously having grabbed them as he’d stormed off somewhere else. Not taking time to try and practice like he so desperately needed to, instead running away.</p><p>Sanji stopped in the middle of the rink with a frown on his face. That wasn’t like him at all. Zoro didn’t just give up when it came to anything, always competitive even when the odds were stacked against him. Hell, even more competitive when he was at a disadvantage; smug and managing to pull through no matter what.</p><p>Filled with a weird sense of unease, Sanji made his way to the edge of the rink. There was no real point in sticking around if both Nami and Zoro were gone – it wasn’t him who needed the practice at all. The cook sighed as he put on the blade protectors and walked into the changing room. His feet were aching now, a throb and wetness on the back of his heel that told him he’d cut it open. Probably from how tight the skating boots were, but a sensation he remembered from when Zeff had started teaching him Savate.</p><p>It was nostalgic, even though it was new. Sanji couldn’t help the smile on his lips as he pulled off the boot, unsurprised by the gash in his heel and the blood staining the inside of the shoe. Nothing a quick rinse and a plaster wouldn’t solve, followed by getting a hot drink and maybe finding Robin to chat to. He’d have considered Nami if she wasn’t so frustrated, not wanting to hear her complain about how unreasonable Zoro was being right now.</p><p>The shitty swordsman could sort himself out. Sanji didn’t even want to think about him.</p><p>--</p><p>The cook spent the remainder of that afternoon walking around the island looking for shops that sold cigarettes. Surprised by how hard it was to come across any, since they were plentiful basically everywhere else. Perhaps the people here just didn’t get stressed all that much, but then again there were plenty of bars dotted around; maybe they just dealt with it differently?</p><p>When he eventually found one, he bought as many packets as he could afford with the change that was in his pockets, agitated with himself for leaving the majority of his cash back on the ship. Sanji was tempted to go back to it to collect some more but he was also loathe to spend all of it on this one island, on these alone. He felt like he’d never smoked this much in his whole life, cursing Zoro under his breath as he exited the shop and made his way back to the hotel to attend dinner.</p><p>Their lack of co-operation was driving Sanji mad. Or rather, Zoro’s lack of effort was making him extremely frustrated. Whenever the swordsman had the chance, he was quick to get off the ice and wander off, even when he desperately needed to stick around longer. Doing this in uncharacteristic half-measures, letting his annoyance be known at every opportunity. It didn’t make working with him easy, especially when Sanji would try to go in for something and see the look of distaste written all over his face.</p><p>If the damn idiot was expecting to fail from the get-go, there was no wonder that it wasn’t going well. Sanji was annoyed by it – all Zoro had to do was the easy stuff. No putting his trust in someone else while zooming around at fast speeds, his safety not in someone else’s hands. Sure, he had to do it to an extent, but a slip-up from Sanji wasn’t likely to end up with him in the hospital.</p><p>For normal people that would absolutely be the case, but Sanji had seen Zoro shrug off injuries like they were nothing. Even if he managed to lodge the blade of a skate in the bastard, the swordsman would be wandering around straight after treatment like it wasn’t a big deal. He often wondered how the hell he managed to do that, how he could get back to lifting weights and such when he’d been cut open or whatever. Sheer stubbornness, he supposed.</p><p>Dinner passed by without incident, though Sanji could feel Nami’s disapproving stare in his direction whilst he ate. They’d crossed paths by sheer luck whilst he was on his search for cigs and he hadn’t even had to say anything for her to figure out that they’d stopped basically as soon as she’d left. He’d wanted to apologise and to explain to her what had happened but she’d just shaken her head and walked off before he could even get close. Annoyed with him over something that wasn’t even his fault – just another thing to add to the ever-growing list of things he hated Zoro for. He wasn’t going to forgive him for making Nami mad, but hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the bastard whilst he was out to take it out on him like he deserved.</p><p>The swordsman miraculously had managed to make it here for food, but by that point Sanji’s anger had turned into exhaustion. He wasn’t in the mood to yell at him, instead just trying to focus on everyone else. Let their presence be like a healing salve, give him the normalcy he was used to when he was on the ship. Listening eagerly to everything they were saying, going so far as to follow them into the main hall of the hotel and sit by the fire to keep it going as long as possible.</p><p>He fought his tiredness until Chopper started yawning; the cue for everyone else to head back to their rooms and get some rest. Though they normally stayed up later than him, they’d decided to disperse when he couldn’t stay up with them anymore; not wanting to leave him out. Probably more for their own sakes than for his though, since everyone seemed quite busy in the daytime and likely needed to sleep as much as he did. Though initially only Usopp and Franky had been drawn into Nami’s scheming, Sanji could tell that she had managed to rope everyone else into one thing or another as well.</p><p>Robin had been reading a lot, glances at her books showing titles that were clearly about skating or clothes-making. As for Brook, he seemed to be semi-babysitting the younger Strawhats when Usopp was busy; finding things for Luffy and Chopper to do to keep them occupied and out of trouble. There’d been one point today where they’d visited the rink to watch their practise, but had been chased away by Nami for being too loud. It wasn’t like Sanji had wanted them to see this anyway; feeling embarrassed enough about their progress without an audience on top of it.</p><p>Chopper’s yawn made Sanji glance around the room, noticing a few of the crew were already missing. Likely having other things to do that he wasn’t privy to, perhaps just slipping out to get some privacy. No doubt they’d all had long days, been surrounded by others and needed a break from it if only for a moment. Either way it didn’t really matter; Sanji shrugging to himself as he got to his feet and involuntarily hissed at the pain shooting through his ankles.</p><p>“Sanji? Are you okay?”</p><p>Chopper was rubbing his bleary eyes as he looked up at him in worry, on the edge of falling asleep but not willing to let Sanji’s pain slide past him. Ever-mindful of other people’s health, wanting to help even if he wasn’t in the best state to do so. Sanji smiled as he put his hand on Chopper’s head comfortingly.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get you to bed, alright?”</p><p>When Chopper nodded, Sanji escorted him back to the room he was sharing with Zoro. The pain in his feet was uncomfortable but nothing he couldn’t deal with. He’d certainly felt worse, knew from experience that it wouldn’t permanently injure him. No point making Chopper stay up longer just to deal with that. Of course, when they got to his room the small doctor insisted on Sanji coming inside, doing a quick once-over of his feet and applying medicine and bandages so they’d heal faster. The cook was grateful even though he felt guilty, thanking Chopper before making a swift exit.</p><p>Tired and aching, he shrugged his shoulders and began the walk back to his own room. Feeling frustrated about all of this, wanting to just climb into bed and listen to more of Usopp’s silly stories before he fell asleep. This time he was going to do his best to pay attention, allow himself to get swept up in them and have a laugh. He needed it after everything that had happened today, to refresh him for the long days of stress ahead.</p><p>There wasn’t much time until the competition and he wanted to make Nami happy, but that was a task far beyond his means. She wouldn’t truly be satisfied unless they won but if he tried his best and did as he was told without complaint, maybe she’d at least stop being annoyed with him. Instead she could direct her anger at the shitty swordsman, who was frankly the one who deserved it in the first place. He was the problem child here, the one making it so difficult. It was unfair that Sanji seemed to be the one getting punished instead.</p><p>Victory may have been out of the question but if Zoro pulled his head out of his ass, it may not end up as a crushing loss. With the way things were now, all they were going to do was embarrass her. He was thankful that she’d thought to enter them under aliases – at least this wouldn’t follow them around afterwards. It was the only silver lining to this: the thought of the entire world knowing he’d pair-skated with Zoro made Sanji want to hide away.</p><p>The event would probably be recorded and shown on this island but they probably wouldn’t come here ever again. Sanji didn’t have to worry about it being seen by anyone else he knew; he hadn’t recognised any of the other ships in the dock, hadn’t come across any other pirate crews in his travels today either. What happened here was likely to stay here, and a damn good thing that was too. When it was all over, he was just going to do his best to forget it entirely and threaten the others never to breathe a word of it again.</p><p>But first that meant actually getting through it, and the faster he went to bed the quicker that would happen. Sanji’s heart felt heavy as he finally got to his room, letting out a low breath when he heard stuff being moved around inside. Usopp was probably making something, would probably be too caught up in that to entertain him for a while. He’d have to tell him to keep it down so he could rest but it wasn’t the end of the world; there’d always be other opportunities later.</p><p>As he opened the door and prepared to ask Usopp to be quiet, Sanji blinked in surprise when he saw Nami in the middle of the room. Had she come in here by mistake or to tell him off for letting Zoro wander earlier? He didn’t think he could deal with that right now, kind of expecting her to leave that til the morning since she hadn’t spoken to him all night. His gaze was suddenly drawn to the pile of things on the floor by her feet, recognising them immediately as belonging to Usopp. It was then that he noticed Zoro was there, standing off to the side with his arms crossed and looking stoic as ever. What was going on?</p><p>Nami turned to look at him when he stepped inside, a no-nonsense expression on her face that told him that he was probably not going to like what he was about to hear. Oh, fuck. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach at the sight of it, trying to come up with an explanation for what was happening in his head – something, anything other than what it looked like. He didn’t even have time to think of one before she spoke to him and shattered his hopes.</p><p>“You’re sharing a room until you get yourselves together.” Nami frowned, glancing over at Zoro as Usopp appeared from the bathroom and started shoving his things inside his bag. The sharpshooter didn’t say a thing or even look in his direction, too focused on trying to make it all fit. Probably doing so on purpose because he knew what look was going to be on Sanji’s face right now, stuck in the middle of this though he obviously wouldn’t want to be. Sanji didn’t really blame him, though he wished Usopp wasn’t going along with it. Then again, no one could really go against Nami – not even Luffy. It was almost like Nami could hear the thoughts in his head, could tell how unhappy he was but didn’t care about it. She continued speaking to draw his attention, practically kicking him whilst he was down with the next words that left her lips: “I want you doing everything at the same time – sleeping, brushing your teeth, whatever!”</p><p>Sanji looked at her in despair. It was bad enough that he was spending so many hours with the bastard – having to allow him to touch him on top of that! – to begin with. Being stuck with him 24/7 was going to drive him up the wall, especially since he couldn’t just do what he wanted. Would now have to cajole Zoro into following along with him, put up with his grumpy ass when the swordsman inevitably started yelling about it. Not that he didn’t understand how he felt.</p><p>Zoro was standing next to him coolly, not protesting though Sanji had expected him to. Probably already having been threatened somehow before he was brought here, giving up since they had less than a week to fix the problems. The Log Pose for this Island still hadn’t set yet, hadn’t given Sanji a way to talk Nami out of this that she had to agree to. Even Luffy was managing to behave himself, somehow not kicking up all that much of a fuss since they’d landed. Usopp had been excited when he’d told Sanji what they’d been up to yesterday, babbling about how Chopper really liked it here since it reminded him of home. Playing together in the snow for hours on end, keeping out of trouble.</p><p>Now that Zoro was stuck being his roommate Sanji was going to miss out on hearing about that. Just another thing that was going to piss him off along with Zoro’s refusal to bathe, loud snoring and general unpleasantness. How Nami thought this was going to help was beyond him. If anything it was going to make it even harder to pretend that being around him was a good thing.</p><p>Usopp just nodded in his direction as he flung his bag over his shoulder and left the room, Sanji disappointed even further as it hit him just how much he had been relying on his stories to get through this. The distraction from the impending embarrassment had been like a lifeline to him.</p><p>“…Yes, Nami-san.” The lack of enthusiasm in his own voice was clear as Sanji agreed with her. Though normally he’d swirl around on the spot and do anything to appease her, he just didn’t feel like it right now. Feeling oddly caged by all of this, like she’d taken away his freedom with this move alone. It reminded him uncomfortably of his childhood locked in a cage, though at least then he’d been able to cook to relieve his stress. What was he supposed to do here?</p><p>Unperturbed by his lacklustre response, Nami just nodded to herself. Assured by his acceptance, seemingly more convinced that this was going to go well than she had been beforehand. Leaving the room almost soon after, but with a strong look toward Zoro on her way out. Like she was warning him to behave, giving a silent threat to make sure he knew what had to be done.</p><p>Sanji glanced over at Zoro in annoyance now that they were alone, noticing how close he was to the bed he’d been sleeping on this whole time. The one closest to the en-suite bathroom, since Sanji hadn’t wanted the one right next to the window.</p><p>“Your bed is that one,” Sanji gestured at it with his thumb. “Don’t even think about getting in mine.”</p><p>Zoro scoffed as he strode over to the other side of the room, his sash swaying at his hip like the tail of an angry cat. Somehow annoying Sanji more with his obedience than he would have if the swordsman had argued with him.</p><p>“As if.” Zoro flung himself onto his new bed and looked at the ceiling, seeming oddly placid for once. More throwing his weight around in anger than lashing out like he normally would, unsurprising if only because he was still sticking to the ‘no fighting each other’ rule that Nami had forced on them both.</p><p>Sanji doubted that rule was going to be kept to now; putting them both in such a small room like this was bound to have consequences. This was really going to test their self-control and impulsive natures – the cook could easily see himself losing his temper and kicking Zoro in the face just for getting on his nerves. Had felt close to doing so many times already, stopping himself only by getting some distance between them.</p><p>Now that wasn’t exactly going to be an option, and Sanji had no other ways of venting his frustrations or distracting himself. A fight between them seemed inevitable, though Sanji was still going to try his best to avoid that. Holding his tongue and temper to the best of his ability, letting things slide that normally he’d kick him in the face for. A fat lot of good it’d do if it was only him though: like everything else, this was only going to work if the damn bastard put some effort in and behaved himself. He doubted Zoro was capable of that.</p><p>Sanji shook his head to himself as he went into the bathroom, grabbing his toothbrush from by the sink. Though Nami had said she wanted them doing everything, it felt too early to try and pester Zoro into going along with him just yet. He was clearly sulking over the whole thing and right now Sanji didn’t feel like having an argument for just doing as he was told. Too tired from everything today to put up with more of it, annoyed simply from the knowledge he was there let alone the sound of his voice.</p><p>What he wanted to do was just climb into bed and fall asleep, ignoring the twitching in his fingers as he recognised his need for another cigarette. No time for that now, no way of doing it unless he vacated the room and went all the way back outside. Unfortunately for him, this was a no smoking lodge: meaning that every time he wanted a cig he had to go out in the goddamn cold and shiver. Usopp had kindly let him kneel on his bed and lean out of the window a few times but not only did Sanji not want to ask Zoro that kind of favour but the last time he’d done it he’d almost been caught. The last thing he needed was to get kicked out – there wasn’t any way he could afford a room elsewhere.</p><p>Instead he just angrily brushed his teeth and threw the toothbrush back into the cup, gargling a mouthful of water to rinse away the leftover toothpaste. He regretted not bringing his mouthwash from the ship, grumbling to himself in annoyance at how Usopp had taken his with him. Of course he would have. Sanji would have gone to get his own or buy some but with Nami dragging him to the rink the second it opened and keeping him there all day, there just wouldn’t be time. After Zoro’s bullshit today, she was unlikely to leave them alone together on the rink again.</p><p>Just another thing to add to his long list of complaints about this whole scenario, an extra bit of salt to rub into the wound of the rooms being swapped around. Not the end of the world but it was really starting to feel that way; so many little things piled up on the big ones that each new issue had him closer to snapping from the pressure.</p><p>When Sanji went back into the room, Zoro already seemed to be asleep. His chest lightly rising and falling with each breath, his mouth open as he pillowed his head on his arms. Why he couldn’t have taken off his damn boots and climbed under the cover was beyond the cook, but at least Zoro hadn’t gotten naked again. It was bad enough seeing it that once. The idiot hadn’t even bothered to brush his teeth – not Sanji’s problem whatsoever though it made his lips curl up at the sides in disgust. What a barbarian.</p><p>As Sanji turned out the light and slipped under his own covers, he turned to face the wall. Trying to pretend he wasn’t there though it was pointless, bending his legs at the knee as he attempted to block that knowledge from his mind. They’d slept in the same room practically every day since they’d met but it had never felt this suffocating to him before, certainly not just been the pair of them. Something felt weird about that, and it was with an uncomfortable feeling in his chest that Sanji finally drifted off into his own slumber.</p><p>No matter whether he wanted to or not, he was going to have to persuade Zoro to play along with Nami’s rules first thing in the morning. Best to be as rested as possible for that.</p><p>Little did he know, that was going to be the least of his problems. All of this was simply the tip of the iceberg.</p>
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